“I actually put peanut butter on my bagel. I really like peanut butter and I like to ruin the bagel. You know what’s even crazier that I do sometimes? I do cinnamon raisin bagels with peanut butter. It is really, really out there."
I spend 99% of my time thinking about either food or my next sexual encounter the end
did ancient Romans call their best friends “romies” like homies because if not then I am severely disappointed in them
if pretty sure they didn’t
well now we know why the Roman Empire failed
the main thing i hate about christmas is the fact i am too poor to buy lovely gifts for all the sweet people in my life that deserve them
My presence is your present
The fact that there are bugs that look like leaves and eels with electricity and frogs that ooze out crazy psychedelic poison makes me soo mad like humans don’t have shit ooo my big brain whoopee where’s my fucking night vision or my wings to fly with what the shit evolution u blew it buddy
Reddit user coolstoryreddit (via communified)
Glasses that allow you to watch TV while laying down.
apps that shut off your music when you open them just how fucking important do you think you are